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 How to Deal with Success and Unsupportive Loved Ones - Selling Ebook

While few actually use these words, this attitude makes its presence felt through a lack of ease about success and an uncomfortable sense of alienating loved ones. This is especially true if loved ones criticize you with “What makes you think you can do that?” or equally critical and unsupportive comments.

For some, this issue looms large. It challenges beliefs and values formed in childhood and held unconsciously into adulthood.

This can set up of a conflict between one’s success aspirations and desire to maintain cherished relationship.

This is a non-issue for some personalities. This type says, “Who are you that I should care what you think? Buzz off!” However, for other types, this approach only generates internal conflict because it does not resolve issues (real or imagined) of betrayal, disloyalty, and abandonment.

Simply put, if you feel that success alienates you from family and friends, you won’t feel good about success. Moreover, you will find subtle ways to screw things up.

If you sense that this might be an issue for you, here’s the essential point. Don’t deal with their stuff! Deal with your stuff about their stuff!

This means change your attitude about their attitude. It’s the only attitude you can change anyway.

Over the years, I haven’t come up with a better way to say it than this. In simplest terms, those of us who seek success drink from a different cup than most of our loved ones.

This doesn’t make us we are any better than they are. However, it does mean that we operate from decidedly different values, beliefs, and attitudes.

You can analyze this and understand them. However, you still won’t change them.

Instead, embrace these attitudes. Agree to disagree with the part of your loved ones that doesn’t drink from the same success cup as you do. Seek support, approval, and recognition from those who drink from a common success cup.

Some find it useful to think of loved ones as a buffet. Embrace the parts you like and leave the rest. After all, isn’t that what many of us do at holiday gatherings!?

I realize that you may not find this emotionally satisfying. What can I tell you?

However, don’t dismiss this idea until you try it. As you discover the wonders it does for your sanity, you may see it differently!

And what happens when you regard success seekers as an alternative extended family? You discover a group of people that will support you and recognize you in ways that your “other” extended family can not or will not.

That’s why it is important to connect with groups or associations that share your particular success interest. People that go through the same fire resonate with each other because the hear the same drummer.

If nothing else, resolve to have the last laugh especially if they laugh at you. And make sure you enjoy that laughter all the way to the bank!